A fake smile !

Over the years, I've become an individualist, and I've come to realize just how malicious human beings can be when it comes to satisfying their own needs. They'll tear down a person's kindness and make them believe anything, even what's false!

One day, awakened by evil, we remember Thomas Hobbes' quote: Man is a wolf to man. We have so much pain inside us that it's hard to believe that a little happiness can emerge in this darkness. We try to hold on, but there's always someone to make us suffering even more...

We wonder why there are so many assholes. These ignoble beings have been put in our path so that we can move on or so that we can understand things.

I had become my own wolf, accepting the unthinkable and its malversations. I thought I was a good actress, because nobody seemed to realize how devastated I was.

One day, a friend reached out to me. He had the courage to tell me that he didn't recognize the woman behind that radiant smile. I was petrified, this friend guided me into the unthinkable: a therapy for domestic violence.

For twelve weeks, I met at a center for abused women. I had to get ready by filling in the workbook I'd been given, which explained the unforgivable things I'd experienced.

It was hard to accept that people you loved unconditionally could have done so much damage to you.

What upset me the most was realizing that I had stopped loving myself for having given so much power to these vicious human beings. I had become a stranger to the woman in the mirror.

My bruised heart and reddened eyes corroborated my lack of self-esteem.

Only two out of the four in the original group completed the therapy. It may sound cliché, but it was actually one of the most important achievements of my life, because

I accepted to put myself first. I've learned to love the exceptional woman I've always been. To protect myself, I've set up a system that no man can truly reach my heart.

I'm still scared and I know it. I'd like to trust and be able to let go completely and gradually disactivate this self-protection mechanism and be able to love again. Do I just need time to be tamed and shown kindness and respect? We all have wounds that shaped who we are today, but that past is no longer present.

I'm sure of one thing: the man who will earn my love and gratitude will also be exceptional.

Don't hesitate to offer the support or grab the hand extended to you! The sooner you get out of a toxic relationship, the sooner you'll regain control of YOUR life. The path may seem rocky and sinuous, but don't be afraid and keep moving forward, remembering that a sun shines above a cloudy rain.